Brother Can You Spare a Dime

Or, maybe, should I drop a dime on my brother?

I try so hard in this blog not to talk about my real life, my personal life, except in the most broad strokes. I don't use real names, for the most part. I have a personal journal, kept in ink, kept for myself, and I've journaled for more than 30 years.

So this exercise is more for the joy of writing, and of being read, than for soul searching and deep thoughts.

It's just that at this particular time in my life, things are such that I have very little to say to amuse you, my imaginary readers. I am consumed with
a problem involving my brother, Biggus Dickus, his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks, the family estate, and questions of control of money, honesty, theft, and general skullduggery.

These are the BIG questions, are they not? More so, I think, than the other big questions, you know, life, the universe and everything?

I am not the sort of person who goes to court. I do not desire to see my name in the papers. I have no burning lust for fame (well, maybe a little smouldering lust). As jaundiced as I am, as jaded about the human condition, I want to believe that my own brother isn't screwing me over something as meaningless as money. And yet. All signs point to that very thing.

My mother's silver has gone missing from the family home. Biggus Dickus and his wife were very la-di-dah about that. As of course, they would be, since it was left to me. Or will be left, or would have been left, since Mummy isn't exactly dead, yet.

Last week I had to pay a bill that Biggus Dickus was refusing to pay, related to Mummy's care...from the hurricanes of 2004. He refused to pay, he refused to talk to the lawyer representing the agency that was seeking payment, he refused to listen to me when I told him to just pay the damned bill, he refused to listen to logic, or my psychoanalysis of his behavior. (Biggus Dickus may be a therapist, and by his accounts, a good one, but I spent 10 years on the couch and came away a better person and one with an understanding of pyschology.) I paid it out of my own, limited means.

He's never acknowledged that I pulled our family name and reputation out of a fire of his own making. I am dragging my feet about calling him out on this. I do not want/need this kind of drama, but I am being forced down an unpleasant path.

Or I can bend over and take a royal ass reaming by my own brother and pretend that it isn't happening, never happened, couldn't happen between us.


I can let out my inner bitch, she who is held in such tight control so that I can live among men. I can, I say, let her out, and go to court and have Biggus Dickus removed as my co-trustee for cause, thereby causing an irreparable rift between me and my only brother. As you can see, this is quite a dilemma, since we love each other so much and so well.

And you want to know why I'm not blogging much these days. Mmmph.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/16 at 10:58 AM in Life? Don’t Talk to Me About Life. Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 01/16 at 10:58 AM in What the Fuck is Wrong With You People

(5) Comments
#1. Posted by TNGEO on January 16, 2006

There’s a friendly attorney in your home town who is into mediating, or into other action if necessary. Her name is Portia, and you met her last March at Harry & The Natives.

So sorry to hear about the silver. I know what that means to a Southern girl like yourself, but hey, it would mean a lot to anyone.

#2. Posted by Miss Bliss on January 16, 2006

Oh man…I’m so sorry to hear all that.  My Dad was an Estate Attorney for almost 20 years and the things people do is enough to make you scream.  It is unbelievable what people are willing to sacrifice over a nickle.  If you choose to call your brother on this it isn’t because you are being unreasonable it’s because he has chosen to be unreasonable and underhanded and you simply have to respond like a sane person who will take care of, not only herself, but your mother as well.
Again, so sorry to hear this.

#3. Posted by oceanguy on January 16, 2006

I don’t envy you at all.  I’ve been through the estate mess, but at least me brother was not the problem… We had the gold-digging second wife of not even 2 years to deal with after a debilitating stroke left him unable to communicate.

Of course the stroke was just a few weeks after eh moved out and said sol long to her…  Still, as the legal wife she had me removed as his healthcare power of attorney and immediately moved him out nursing home and taken to her house, where he was not cared for and died within weeks… he could/should have lived for years…

Of course all the family heirlooms are gone, never to be seen again…  Photos destroyed or thrown away are what’s missed the most, but all the other memories of grand-parents… gone… You’re not alone.

If I have any advice, it’s to keep your conscience clear… you have to do what you feel is right.. if it’s a court… so be it… It will likely be on your mind for a long time, and knowing you did what was right will be the best peace you have.

#4. Posted by LM on January 17, 2006

For my sanity, I finally had to walk away from my entire greedy family. I know you can’t do that, so I think the mediation route is a really good one with which to start.

Might keep you from having to go to court, which sure would save you a lot of time and grief.

Good luck. Sigh.

#5. Posted by Kathleen on January 17, 2006

Oh, sweetie. I feel your pain. When my grandfather died, we discovered his accountant, who he had named executor, had helped himself to a few hundred thousand, including the entire college fund for my boys - over $60K. He called it attorney fees for settling the estate - at $700 per hour!!!. We did get him removed as executor, and we have been fighting for three years to get the $ back and prosecute this guy and his attorney. The good news is we may get half, and they are disbarred and he is going to jail. Do what your gut says.

Commenting is not available in this channel entry.

<< Back to main