Day One
I slept in. All the way to 7:30AM. Whoopeee.After a cup of coffee, and the delicious realization that I didn't have to put on make up today, I sauntered off into the living room, where twelve years of employment and hard work has been packaged into six cardboard boxes.
I pulled out the office sweaters and the Happy Bunny desk sign book, the spare pair of socks, the container of mints, and the squishy brain that sat on my monitor.
I sorted out the tech books. Outdated systems and program version learning guides went into a bag for the used book store. Usuable manuals and in-depth guides went into smaller box, for me to finally read and work through.
I pulled out my desk calendar, marked the day of separation (free at last, free at last) and the upcoming jury duty and interviews.
I sat on the couch, depressed despite myself.
I went back to the boxes, extracting the cables, cradles, docks and chargers. Those will go to my studio. Ditto the radio/cd player.
My awards and framed samples will go into storage. I sigh. I sit on the couch and remind myself how much joy and relief I felt yesterday when I sneered at the senior vp and told him to spare me the platitudes.
I wander off to refill my coffee, pet the dog. This is going to be fine, I think.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/10 at 10:26 AM in Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 11/10 at 10:26 AM in Life? Don’t Talk to Me About Life.
Please don’t be depressed. I think it’s going to be fine, too—I think it’s going to be better than fine. This is a new beginning, and I think you’re going to do really well.
That place was such a freakin’ horror, and you deserve so much better.
I’m sorry, kiddo. Been there, done that (although not with as much history behind it). I agree with Reecie: It will be better than fine. I firmly believe in “divine” justice, and that everything happens for a reason—generally to kick you in the ass and force you to look up, rather than behind you. Something better is in store for you—maybe not this week or this month, but it will come.
In the meantime, use this lull to recoup, regenerate, and re-energize (and yes, a full 2-3 days should be used for wallowing and completely immersing yourself in self-pity, prior to the rest of it!).
Absolutely…everything is in divine order. Rest for a day or two or even a couple more than that. Roll around in it because it won’t be long before you are right back in the grind.
Now that you’ve got a big pebble out of your shoe, use the experience to avoid getting another one, if you can. Imagine if you were a prospective new hire at the hospital at this time last year, but knowing what you now know about the place, what might have tipped you off on an interview or a walk through that it wasn’t Shangri La?
Maybe old systems on employee desks? Maybe too many piles of paper everywhere (too many projects for most employees, not good direction, etc.)? Maybe empty desks? Expressions on people’s faces, and body language? Whatever it was (maybe not even in the last year) that marked the turning point for that organization from the time you joined it, thinking it would be a good place to work, to the day you were let go, had to be followed by changes that were noticeable to an observant outsider. Think about it, and I bet you could make a list.
Because as you go out on interviews for new jobs, you have to be good at sizing up whether you are getting into something on solid ground, to avoid another gravel pit. And these days, there are oh-so-many gravel pits in IT, and Web related jobs.
But I agree with the other commenters that immediately, it is good just to have the pebble out of your shoe, and you should take what time you can to enjoy it. Although, strangely enough, for the first few days, you may even miss the familiarity of what were really constant irritations.
I’ll believe you’re ready to work again when I see some turn in what you post here. For months, your mood in these pages has seemed to me darker and darker, and I hope, now that the other shoe has dropped (so to speak), this blog of yours will reflect some new optimism. You’re due, maybe overdue, for better days.
Good luck. Keep posting.