Dazed & Confused for So Long

I know that I said I was going to flip the switch over to Expression Engine, and really, I did install it and tried to customize it and everything, and really, the spam comments are driving me crazy on this platform, but Jeezus H. Christ, that is one tough program. Completely unintuitive, as far as I can tell. No manual to speak of, no third party books at all, at least not that I can find on Amazon.

Sure they have forums and tech support, but I'm a hands on kind of girl, and this is just blowing my circuits all to hell.

So. Anybody out there an EE guru who wants to have some long, meaningful e-mail exchanges with me this weekend, as I try to make the switch once and for all?