He’s Dead, Jim

How many father figures did you have?

Yesterday, I lost another one of mine. My sistergirlfriendgirl's dad passed away. I spent so much of my childhood in her home, that her parents were a second set of parents to me. But, unlike my own, hers were larger than life. They had a pet lion for a while.
Her mother was tall, with an armful of gold bangles half way to her elbow. She had a huge laugh, a talent for flower arranging, and another for needlepoint. She made her own needlepoint patterns. She smoked and wore gold flowered sandals and long Hawaiian mumus. I was in awe of her.

Their home always had a jigsaw puzzle in progress on a table in the living room. There were shelves and shelves of books, and dishes of shells and found objects; there was always something new to discover on a shelf, or a new photo in the collage of family photos in the hallway.

Her father had lily and chysanthemum farms. Acres and acres of purple, yellow, rust flowers under the black shade cloth. In the 60s, if you bought a potted Easter lily, or wore a chrysanthemum corsage, it probably came from their farms. He became a bee keeper by accident when a swarm built a hive in an empty lily bulb crate. He fished and hunted and swore and cooked. Like my own father, he could (and did) build a bbq pit out of an empty oil barrel, some cinder blocks and a piece of wire fence.

Do they even make men like that anymore? I don't think so. Nor women like her mother, although I do my best to emulate her. My home has a lot of elements that I remember or think I remember about hers, too.

Anyway. It's a good thing that I'd put down the better part of a bottle of red when I got the news about her dad, because a couple of hours later the Apple store called to tell me that my laptop was unrecoverable, and they'd had to put in a new hard drive.

It's all gone. All of it. Fuck me blue.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/29 at 10:40 AM in Maudlin Crap

(2) Comments
#1. Posted by Miss Bliss on March 29, 2006

Oh no.  On so many levels…oh no.  I lost that “dad” last year so totally understand what you mean.  I also lost an entire hard drive of info including all of my creative writing not once but twice.  Now nothing so extreme as a novel but all of my poetry and short stories except for a few hard copies that I had floating around.  I was also told that same thing about backing up my shit.  I’m so sorry sweetie…sending you out some big, big love.

#2. Posted by Amy on March 31, 2006

I have lost another Daddy! Wish we could duplicate men like our dads.
But through the lives of his daughters, he will always be remembered by all.

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