HOT STUFF!!!

Oh, baby, baby, baby. I got a new political hottie: Barak Obama. Did you guys see him? Did you hear him? Oh. My. God. I have seen the future of rock and roll. Or politics, what ever.
He is the face, the true story of America. A first-generation born citizen, who lived the dream his grandparents set in motion. He is eloquent and passionate, and not afraid to say the things that need to be said, and that have been suppressed by political correctness for too, far too, long.

I loved him. I stood up in my living room and applauded. I cheered. I clapped. I believed in America again. Now, I just have to see if he actually wins his election.

And Teresa Heinz Kerry! Oh. My. God. The first (potential) first lady with actual flair and style since (dare I say this?) Jackie Kennedy. (Swoons) Did you see her stand-up collar? Her hair? She speaks five languages, which is five more than Bush. She's an (another bad word coming up) intellectual, God bless her little heart.

And that old, not-yet-toothless lion of liberals everywhere: Teddy Kennedy. He looked great, and not at all like a bloated parody of himself. He did the thing that only he can do: he invoked the words, the works and the spirits of his dead brothers. He contrasted the intelligence and noblesse oblige of those two men with the callowness and self interest of the current administration. And he can. Because he's the last one.

But wait, unless you readers have cable, you didn't see any of those things because the three major networks didn't show any of the Democratic Convention in prime time. They cite low ratings. They cite disinterest. They are remiss in their duty to the American people. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes exposure to raw information is more important than profit. (Try not to faint.)

So where is the liberal media bias the right keeps yawping about? If there really were a liberal media conspiracy, wouldn't the Democratic convention have been broadcast into sports bars and gyms everywhere? Wouldn't the spin be something other than Teresa Kerry told a pushy, asshole reporter to shove it? How come that makes her a bitch, but telling the Senate to go fuck themselves makes Dick Cheney a real man?

For the answer to that question, just listen to Ms. Heinz Kerry herself:

"My right to speak my mind, to have a voice, to be what some have called `opinionated,' is a right I deeply and profoundly cherish. My only hope is that, one day soon, women -- who have all earned the right to their opinions -- instead of being labeled opinionated, will be called smart or well-informed, just like men.''

The C-Span camera cut to Hillary Rodham Clinton at that moment, and on her face I read "oh, yeah, sistah, been there, done that, got enough t-shirts to make a fucking circus tent."

See you tonight on the couch, for day three of Kerrystock.