Miz Shoes Reviews, Project Runway, Season 7, Episode 6

Open on the Atlas, where…Hey! Who’s sleeping with a stuffed lamb? Really, who was that? It was cute. Anthony says that after being on the bottom, winning was great, even if it sucks that he didn’t get immunity, too. Weepy McWeepersons is bummed that she was in front of the Editor of Marie Claire, and the woman hated her. Maybe it was her perky demeanor.

This week, the designers will get new models with not much experience, but they are an attractive little group. In case that is too subtle for you, that means little kids. Jesse sums up the feeling of the designers thusly: Oh, crap. We have to do something age-appropriate for little kids. But wait! What’s this? Seth Aaron is a father to a little girl? It’s yours to lose, buddy, because the rest of the pack is like Jonathon, who is afraid of the small. Amy lurves making mini clothes.

In the workroom, there are mini mannequins, and cards with the little girls measurements. They have thirty minutes to sketch, $50 at Mood and until midnight to make their outfits. Anthony laments that his forte is big women, and these little girls have no bootie and no breasts. He has no idea how to design for that. Jesse has a fantasy of little schoolgirl Madelaine in Paris. Emilio is going to make a “pretty little dress”.

At Mood, Seth Aaron scrambles to find black and white checked jersey. He’s going for a hoodie vest in his usual Hot Topics style. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Miz Shoes has found many cute little things (that may or may not be age appropriate for her) to wear at Hot Topics. Amy is not amused by pink. It is, she says, cliché. Jay thinks that today’s 8 year olds are fashion forward. He’s going for plum and navy blue. At the Apple store, we used to call the fashion forward 8 year olds prosti-tots.  Do we really need fashion-forward 8 year olds? Miz Shoes says we do not, because those are the girls who are going to end up on reality shows like “My Sweet 16” and “Bridezillas”. But I digress.

Jonathon is going to make a bolero for his little girl, but first he has to create his own fabric, and mock Michael Kors. Mil/ya is doing something new and innovative. PSYCH! No, she’s just doing another a-line dress with color blocking in a 1960’s vibe. Snore. Wake me when the decade is over. Weepy is channeling the lady bug costume her older sister wore in a school play when they were the age of the model. Seth Aaron says that his daughter is now 11, but that he knows what girls want. They want fun.

The next morning, Weepy calls home and cries. Tim comes to the workroom with some good news and some bad news. The good news is that they have another day to work. The bad news is they’re going to need it to complete the adult look they are going to make to go with what they designed for the kids. Not mummy/daughter necessarily. Winner gets immunity.

Jonathon says an adult version of his little yellow frock is easy: lower the neckline and raise the hem. Seth Aaron is in the zone. Jesse is whining, and Amy is going to take her little petal skirt and turn it into pants. Anthony chatters away until the other designers put a gag on him and take bets as to how long he can last without talking. Why did nobody think of that for the Angry Little Peanut? In the event, he lasts 14 minutes and 56 seconds.

Tim works the room, and begins with love for Jonathon’s little girl’s piece. Weepy, on the other hand, is rocking the Halloween look, and she doesn’t even know it. Finding out makes her cry. Tim isn’t so sure about Amy, either, and warns her that those pants (coral, turquoise, grey and black) are looking alarmingly like clown clothes. Seth Aaron has made a little hot pink and black purse for the little girl, and is constructing a very tailored jacket for the grown up look. He’s doing color blocking, actually, creating chevrons that mimic the hound’s tooth check on the child’s hoodie. Tim is profoundly wowed. As he should be. Amy thinks it will be close on the runway. Emilio is concerned. Weepy is weepy, and thinks she might be safe, but mostly just wants to get through the day. Chronic depression?

The morning of the show arrives and so do the models, both adults and little girls. There is the kind of chaos one would expect, and the high-strung designers and the wound up little girls are hard to tell apart. Jesse ponders whether he has created something weird ass or genius. Tonight’s guest judge is Tory Burch. Walkies!

Anthony has made something adorable. Amy’s petal pants are horrifying, and compelling in that I think my mother had that exact color palette in an outfit she bought in Capri in the summer of 1966. It was a pair of lemon yellow slubby silk toreador pants, and a boat-neck, ¾ sleeved jersey top. The top had a pattern of scallops, or clam shell shapes, very pop art: black out lines and colored insides…I seem to remember it being coral and turquoise and lemon yellow and black. Wow. Flashbacks. Where are we?

Ben has made an asymmetric, below the knee hem for the little girl. Not pretty. Seth Aaron’s little hoodie top is adorable. There are two little pink pockets on the front, out-lined in big white plastic zippers, and they look like watermelon slices.  He did some sort of appliqué on the back of the hoodie.  Jesse has made a slightly off-kilter grey high-waisted dress with red trim and a red coat for his child. The adult version is a sleek and tailored sleeveless dress with a giant black belt and a red jacket.  Jonathan has made a toilet paper dress. May/la has made yellow jackets like little rubber duckies. Mil/ya has used hot pink and lime green, white and black and done the same old schtick. Over it. Emilio has made a liitle flower girl dress that comes to her ankles and put something hot pink on the adult.  Weepy’s made a tomato dress and leggings. Jay’s pieces are sophisticated and architectural. Vertical ruffles.

Jay, Amy, Seth Aaron, Weepy, Jonathan and Jesse had the lowest and highest scores. Jesse’s big red coat and the grey dress with red piping gets praise. Seth Aaron’s little model, Sydney loves her purse. Both looks are super. Tory Burch says that this is something a little girl would want to wear.

Jay’s pieces are chic. NinaGarcia calls is urban, New York and cool. Weepy’s dress was too plain, it needed more whimsy. Heidi calls the look cheap mall, and Michael Kors delivers a “looks a little home ec”. Although Jonathan thinks that he’s given the little girl an edge, she says it’s more of an itch. In her armpit where that damned bolero is too tight. Yep: Michael Kors calls the adult look a tornado of toilet paper.

Amy. Yeah. The judges can not heap on enough scorn and derision. The little girl ran out of a burning building, wearing everything she owned. The adult pants are a circus, a train wreck. They are hideous, says Heidi, and Tory Burch does not like the colors.

Jesse is in. Seth Aaron is the winner. NinaGarcia says that he designed something a child would point at and say “I want that!” (IIt’s the watermelon pockets.) Jay is in. Jonathan is in. Amy’s color sense was nonexistent, the pants were clownish and the little kid got dressed in the dark. Weepy, though, she didn’t design, she barely sewed. Her stuff committed the mortal sin of looking cheap. Weepy gets to go home. Finally.  Next week? A trip to the hardware store.