My Heart is Heavy & Pressed to the Bond

I went to my childhood home on Thanksgiving day, for the annual feast, now held at the Girl Cousin’s home. For twenty years or more, it was my mother’s feast, and the family, and the widows and the orphans all piled in. It went from a sit-down dinner with the good china to a wild and wooly buffet off paper plates. Along with Passover, Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Food and family and both in wretched excess.

This year was subdued, as the Girl Cousin’s mom was in the hospital with pneumonia. We took her a plate of all the home-made goodies and she sat up in a chair and teased me and ate everything. Then the sun set, literally, and the dementia came back and the anxiety and anger and the family decided to get her out of hospital and into the local hospice house, until she could be stabilized and sent home.

Only the first part happened. My Auntie Em went to the hospice house and 48 hours later, she was gone. She left this world surrounded by her family, which is exactly how she lived her life. The RLA and I drove home to Miami, switched out the clothes in our suitcase and drove back north for her funeral. There was more to it than that, of course: I had been called for jury duty, we had doctors’ appointments and the stupid cat had to go back to the vet with his chronic weepy ear.*

Back north, funeral, back south, back to work. And now my mother has “issues”. I have a new pack of cigarettes and a full bottle of scotch. More later, I promise. It’s just that I am finding it hard to be amusing these days.

* The vet says that this is medically known as “squishy ear syndrome”. He also says that Ming has a “chronic, pernicious exudate”. I say that needs to be the name of my next imaginary punk band…at least Pernicious Exudate.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/08 at 09:39 PM in Maudlin Crap

(5) Comments
#1. Posted by Cousin Steve on December 09, 2009

Oh, my God!!!  I am so sorry.  I hadn’t heard.  With all of of the aunts & uncles gone except your mother (bless her) news like this travels much slower than it used to.  You have my number & e-mail address.  PLEASE keep me updated about your mom.  I don’t want to hear any news, good or bad, a week or two later.  If you want to talk,  I’m as close as the phone.  BTW, my favorite imaginary band name is Empuscated Mucus.

#2. Posted by Elise on December 09, 2009

I’m so sorry.

You don’t have to be amusing, entertaining, or anything similar.

Let me know if I can be helpful.

#3. Posted by JustJen on December 09, 2009

Nuthin’ to say except “I’m sorry” and the oh-so-obvious-but-necessary “Don’t forget to take care of yourself while you’re supporting your familial cast of lovable eccentrics”.

All best wishes,

#4. Posted by Fiber Ninja on December 11, 2009

You know that you’re the ring-leader in all this lunacy, don’t you?  Just don’t let yourself fall apart whilst keeping everyone else together, okay?  Buzz me when you need to cream and cuss.

#5. Posted by RJ Flamingo on December 15, 2009


And thanks for all the latkes. :-)

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