Obligatory Bush-Bashing Joke Of the Day
From my girl cousin, hot off the internets:A woman bought a new Lexus, and it cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.
"Madam", said the sales manager, "The audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"
She drives out, somewhat amazed and a little confused.
She looked at the radio and said, "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" Soon, she was speeding down the highway to the sounds of "On the Road Again." The lady was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.
At a traffic light, her light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly, off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw an SUV speeding toward her. She swerved and narrowly missed a terrible collision. "Asshole", she muttered.
And, from the radio... "Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States...."
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 04/20 at 08:00 PM in Yellow Dog Politics
Coincidentally, I received this one this morning from my girlfriend, Melody:
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the man, “whose clock is that?” “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”
“Incredible”, said the man. “And whose clock is that one?” St.Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Where’s George W. Bush’s clock?” asked the man.
“Bush’s clock is in Jesus’s office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”