Project Runway: Miz Shoes Reviews

OK. Thank the tv gods of programming that it's back. Finally.

First of all, Mr. Tim Gunn is right (as always, and about everything, DUH) when he says that this year's crop of designers is more diverse and more talented than ever. But, really, people. Do we need another Santino? Mr. Jeffrey Sebilia needs to go away, and soon.

I hate his tats, and that's not because I hate tats. I hate HIS tats. He has a little pea head, and his neck is wider than his ears, and all that writing going up and down his neck just makes him look "like a shmoo" according to RJ. According to me, it just makes him look like a pencil-necked asshole.
Also? His design, while not completely sucking, sucked. Again, just like Satan-ino, with the shredding and the distressing and the whickety whack.

(Hey! Bravo! Where's the whickety-whack t-shirt that Nick had on at the finale? We out here in tv-land want to buy those.)

Laura. Laura, I'm not sure if I'm going to love or hate. On the one hand, she has some major, major design chops. On the other hand, she had the cojones (as we say here in Miami) to ask someone from Ohio, to their face and seemingly in dead earnest, "what do people DO in Ohio?"

Then again, she has that whole Judy Davis
thing going on, and how can you hate anybody whose fashion sense involves ALWAYS wearing red lipstick?

Still, I feel I must make mention of the fact that she moved into the Atlas with matching Louis Vuiton luggage. Steamer cases. Please. The woman does not need the 100 thou prize. She's an architect who lives in Manhattan with five children. FIVE. That 100G must be chump change for her.

Vincent, I think, is this year's Daniel Franco. And I loved Daniel Franco. Don't ask me why, I can't say, except that he made beautiful garments and was the only person to get back up in Satan-ino's grill. Vincent openly admits that being in the rag trade in NYC almost killed him. Guessing by his age and look, I'd say it was the 80s (i.e.: drugs to excess, drink to excess, sex and drugs and rock and roll to excess) that almost killed him. But, since NYC nearly gave me a nervous breakdown in the 70s, I'm willing to cut him some slack.

And for all the wahwahwah about the basket hat, I didn't find it so repellent. I remember those hats in fur, and feathers and all sorts of materials, including straw. I found the sunglasses more distracting. I thought the whole thing looked like an interlunar stewardess from 2001. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I also love, love, love Michael-the-hiphop-guy. That little dress made from coffee filters? Oh. My. God. Give that man a contract, stat. And, if he really is a street-cred sort of guy from Atlanta, maybe he'll just give that asshole Moo-lan the smack down.

Mooooolaaaaaan. I got him pegged as this year's snippy-ass blow hard. That accent, whether real or not-so-much has me gagging. I think he sounds more like Austin Powers than Austin Powers. I'm not expecting much from him except my-shit-don't-stink attitude and indifferent design. I wasn't impressed with the assymetrical shrug thing he produced for the first challenge.

Robert, The Mattel dude. Designing for Barbie hasn't made him loose his ability to design for real women. That little white dress, with the built-in bling and the big red bow in the back was to die for. I can't wait to see what he does next.

Keith Michael, the designated menswear-only designer, who took Tim Gunn's advice, added crap to his blue dress and then, after sleeping on it, turfed the advice and the add-ons and won the challenge is another designer I can't wait to see do more.

Not only did I love the dress, I loved his "Look. Just because I've never done women's wear before doesn't mean I can't do it, it only means I haven't done it." attitude. And, though I wouldn't suggest making a habit of it, he turfed Tim Gunn's advice and WON. the. challenge. If you haven't watched Project Runway before, let me tell you this. You do not turf Tim Gunn's advice and win. Ever. This may have been a first.

Except for my girl Laura (at least for today I love her) none of the other women have struck me as potentially very interesting designers. OK. I take that back. Girl from Ohio (Angela) seems like she might have something in her bag of tricks worth watching.

Wow. I just read her bio on that link. I KNOW she has stuff worth watching, now. She may just be my new favorite.

And last, but not least, I have to hand it to Michael Kors this year. He's come out of the gate with a bang. While "pink parts" is no "entirely too much tootie", the way he delivered it was golden. And the eye-roll while he dismissed the "granny panties" under the sheer curtains, well, it was brilliant.