Project Runway: Miz Shoes Reviews

So the big twist, the huge surprise was... there was no decoy at the tents. We've seen the final shows by all four finalists. Excuse me while I yawn.
Such drah-mah as there was consisted of Uli taking Nazri (the model) away from Michael, and then deciding her usual schmata looked like a house dress, and tearing it apart and starting over. Why it took her til last night to come to that blazing revelation, your guess is as good as mine. But Nina and the rest of the judges (the guest judge was the fashion writer from the Wall Street Journal, a newspaper famous for its coverage of the edgy and new...and also for never publishing photos) just had to fan themselves because cutting about two feet off the hem caused them to see the same old same old as something new and different.

Michael should have stolen Marilinda from Jeffrey-the-Pinheaded-Shmoo, because that girl can sell the worst piece of crap on the runway as haute couture (thinking of the mustard yellow plaid Hot Topic evening gown). But he didn't, and more's the pity. Michael hit the proverbial wall last night and just sketched and sketched and sketched and finally found something to sew, but... well, let's just say that it was no Pam Muthafukkin Greer ensemble, despite a passing resemblance in terms of color.

Laura made another impeccable Laura dress, but with a slightly different colorway, one very closely related to her jet set dress. Slit down the front and back. Lace, beads, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But tailored to within an inch of its life.

Jeffrey-the-Pinheaded-Shmoo took time off from being all dark and edgy and shit to do something he called romantic and... provocative. He also called a horse-drawn hansom cab a rickshaw, so what the hell does he know. He made a point of telling the world that it was beautiful and hand-sewn. Meh. The blue velvet that he used for the bodice was luscious, the marble-sized pearls he stuck on the neckline, not so much. There was a giant red waistband that looked to be semi-pleated and a bubble skirt. Yes. A bubble skirt a la Angela the much maligned. In white. With what may or may not have been raw hems. Ho-hem/hum.

And then they all got to stay and Tim got all misty-eyed. Next week will be the reunion show where Keith Malfoy goes all Travis Bickle on Heidi, et. al and nobody really cares who will win on the 18th.