Sometimes it’s a Bitch, Sometimes it’s a Breeze

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You know, some days, it's just too fucking easy. Life serves it up to you on a platter.

Spandex leggings in a Pucci print. Why, God? Why?

And because I know somebody is going to ask, no. I looked at her face. It wasn't the woman in last week's Style column, seen below. You'd think though, wouldn't you.

As scary as this may be, it has long been my personal observation that more people can't dress themselves than those who can. Case in fucking point being to the left and below.

But that wasn't all I was given today. The next image is for anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of Yiddish. By rudimentary, I mean you've ever heard a Borscht belt comedian, or seen a Mel Brooks movie, or spent any time in New York City. Any. Time.
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Loosely translated, for anyone who thinks they don't understand why this is funny, nay, tragically funny, the name on the machine means Dick Master. Only, maybe, a little dirtier word than dick. Cock. Schlong.

Only in Miami.

Finally, there was this, being read quite studiously by a fellow passenger on the evening train.

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As I say, I don't make this shit up. You CAN'T make this shit up.


(5) Comments
#1. Posted by Larry Cafiero on April 19, 2006

Oh, California is crawling with Putzmeisters—and also those large machines that bear the name.

[Hmmm. I wonder if I’m in that voter guide . . .]

#2. Posted by LM on April 19, 2006

How excellent that she wore cheap white pumps with those leggings.

#3. Posted by Miz Shoes on April 19, 2006

Actually, LM, they were powder blue patent leather.

#4. Posted by Brette on April 19, 2006

this made my morning.

You know, it would be one thing if it were authentic Pucci and the seams were hidden on the inner thigh and she were dressing for some 80s dance party.  Was her hair styled as one’s hair should be styled when attending an 80s dance party? 

I always thought Putz referred to a ridiculously short penis…definitely not as long as a schlong.

#5. Posted by Miz Shoes on April 19, 2006

Yeah, Brette, the RLA thought the same thing. But here’s the great Leo Rosten on the subject:

Literally, vulgar slang for penis, not to be used lightly. More offensive than the schmuck, which can be used affectionately or teasingly. Rarely used to describe the member, schmuck does that. Def. from the “Joys of Yiddish” by Leo Rosten

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