They Say It’s Your Birthday

I'm officially old today.

Or not.

My mother, who is eighty-six, insists, when asked, that she is maybe twenty-one. This gives creedence to the quote by the immortal Satchel Paige, who once said "How old would you be, if you didn't know how old you was?"
Tonight, somewhere around 8:32EST, the earth and I on it, will hit the point where fifty years ago, I made my entrance.

The RLA, the noble dog Nails, Ming the Merciless Siamese, and even the koi, have been doting on me all day. So far I've raked in some heavy-duty love and no small piles of gifts.

I am not one of those folks who, when presented with an opportunity for gifts, demures and says I need nothing, I want nothing. Not this bitch. No sir. When there are presents to be had, I, like the Shrub his ownself, says "Bring it on."

They are indeed being brung. I have new fuzzy bunny slippers. I have a pair of truly lovely pink yard flamingos. I am wearing an amazing new necklace featuring a carved bone mermaid and turquoise.

My girl cousin who sends me so many jokes and political satire, sent a set of Kate Spade martini glasses. (Said girl cousin does know your author, does she not?) My sisterfriendgirl made me the most beeyooteeful quilt in pinks and greens and blacks and I've already taken a nap under it, so there.

Nope. As much as I may joke and complain about turning fifty, it beats the fucking alternative, and I can give you a list without even having to think hard, of all my friends who never made it this far. Cancer and AIDS, primarily. Leapin' made it to 52, and then went down in chopper over the Gulf of Bahrain. Gary finally got a job with insurance, and so went to see about that bothersome hemorhoid, only to be told it was colon cancer, and he was gone six months later.

Me? I'm older than I ever expected to be, and still not quite grown up. The cocktail party the RLA is throwing for me has a mermaid theme. I'm off to string up crepe paper garlands, and rearrange the shells and fishnets. Don't wait up, but maybe there will be photos tomorrow.
Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 12/15 at 06:40 PM in My Mind is a WMD

(4) Comments
#1. Posted by sphinx on December 15, 2004

Happy Birthday darlin!!!!

#2. Posted by Solonor on December 16, 2004

Happy birthday!

#3. Posted by Reecie on December 16, 2004

Happy birthday to yooou,
happy birthday to yooou,
happy birthday, dear Miz Shoooes,
happy birthday to yooo-ooou!

I wish I could take you out to lunch today.

#4. Posted by Miss Bliss on December 16, 2004

Oh happy, happy day!!  I never planned to live this long either…I actually had plans and made an effort to not make it much beyond my early 20’s but alas….the Universe in it’s wisdom didn’t agree with me and I must say I’m happy about that today!  Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!

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