You Think I’m Over the Hill, You Think I’m Past My Prime
The current Rolling Stone cover story is Bob Dylan. The number one Billboard Album is (for the first time in his career) Bob Dylan's newest, Modern Times. There's a new i-pod commercial featuring The Bob. The New York Times' article. The general concensus seems to be that Bob Is Hot.
I feel cheated and dirty. I've loved this man for most of my life and been ridiculed for my obsession, and now he's hot? I mean, I've always been way ahead of the trend, the curve, the whatever, but this is just crazy. Now? Now that Bob is 65 and raggedier than ever, NOW he's hot?
How unfair is this? Now that he and I are creaking into geriatricville, shouldn't I finally have the old goat to myself? Shouldn't my imaginary boyfriend and I get peace at this stage in our lives? Shouldn't he finally have enough time to come to my house for dinner?
No. NOW he's hot. GAH. So fucking unfair. And get this quote from Rolling Stone:
When I ask Dylan what [Alicia] Keys did "to get into your pantheon," he only chuckles at my precious question. "I remember seeing her on the Grammys. I think I was on the show with her, I didn't meet her or anything. But I said to myself, 'There's nothing about that girl I don't like.'"
Oh, girlchild. Do you even know? Do you realize? If The Bob ever said that about me, I would voluntarily allow my ticket to be punched, just so I could have that engraved on my tombstone.
(Heaves a huge sigh) Well, the whole freaking interview is wonderful. He talks about everything from the current crummy state of recording technology to baseball. He's a Derek Jeter fan, and except for the fact that Jeter plays for the Yankees, who could argue? The Bob claims to be a Detroit fan, but I remember that he wrote a song about Catfish Hunter, another NY Yankee. I suspect that the Bob may be a closet Yankee fan, and that might just be the only thing he's ever said or done to make me love him a little less... well that and the whole Born-Again Christian phase. But I've always believed that he only did that to lose money during his divorce from Sarah.
And don't get me started on Sarah. I've said before and I'll say again, it wouldn't have mattered to me what the man did, if he'd written Blood on the Tracks for me, to get me back? It would have worked. I'd have taken him back in a New York minute.
Anyway. After all these years, it seems that the rest of the world has "discovered" Bob. Fine. Now go away and leave him to me.
You are absolutely adorable when you descend into giggly Bob Girlfan. The man keeps doing it better every year, the sign of a true artist, ever changing yet always true to his own muse.
I loved every word of that article. He can’t say anything without it sounding profound. (I’m totally ripping off the line “crawling on bleeding knees” in a song on my next album.)
I’m not even going to lower myself to read about him. He hasn’t learned a thing since the first time around, when he rode to success on Joan Baez’ back. Now, at 65, he feels quite comfortable slathering over a 25 year old who has been appointed the billboard du jour. Funny how Bob et al 20/20 vision for baby seals and men working in mines, but just can’t see that women are human. The men of the left think the women of the left are billboards and fuck objects.
Further on in this tune, Bob just wants a real good woman to do whatever he wants. Or some such shit.
Patriarchal misogynistic asshole.