You’re So Vain, I Bet You Think This Recap Is About You

Excuse me, but if you cheat, lie and bully your fellow contestants, whose fault is it if you get thrown out of the competition?

So Keith got clocked, finally. Last week he refused to dress the doggie, and lost for his arrogance. Then he complained that he should have won. Except that he didn't actually participate in the challenge. Whatever, huh, Keith? This week he also overspent his allowance at Mood, and then whined his way into a discount. Which looked like cheating to me, and probably everyone else who was watching when Kara Saun almost got tossed for using comped shoes.

For the last four weeks we've had to listen to this a-hole dis the other designers and wahwahwah about how his is the only piece on the runway with any decent construction skills. Or decent design.

This week, we found out why: he's had the cheat books under his bed. On top of which, according to the Most Excellent Tim Gunn, he also skipped off the set without permission and went to do a few hours of internet research.

Classy guy to the end, Keith left by bitching that by ratting him out to the producers, he -Keith- was made to look a fool and had his reputation ruined and is a laughing stock. Well, yeah, maybe. But it isn't like the other guys stuffed the contraband under your pillow while you weren't looking. You brought it all down on your own head. Asshat.

With Keith out of the way, the designers went about completing this week's challenge, which was to design a three piece set of separates for INC. Jeffrey-the-Shmoo and Alison were only slightly handicapped by the loss of their team leader. Laura and Michael were seriously handicapped by having as their team leader the yoyo-happy Angela. Bonnie (the other of the two sort of lumpy women who designed sportswear) was team leader to Bradley and Uli. Robert the Barbie guy headed up the final team of Vinny and Kayne.

And you know what? I thought all four teams produced some amazingly boring, trite and unattractive pieces. An ANORAK? PUH-leese. Who the hell is still wearing anoraks? The saddest part of this is that until I looked at the Bravo web site this morning, I still thought it was Bonnie's team who made that.

Angela won despite herself, but only because she listened to Laura and Michael who absolutely would have none of that bubble skirt/yoyo rosette crap. They managed to wrangle her down to only 6 rosettes. Four as buttons on the front of the cropped jacket (excuse me while I yawn) and two for no reason on the back of the popped collar.



Vincent played nice with others, even though he thought that Robert's design was lame. He just kept saying, "Well, Robert's the leader. This is Robert's vision, I'm just here to make it happen. Even if I do think it looks like a matronly stewardess." Which it did. Blouse with an overly-large Superfly collar. Pencil skirt with a slit up to the model's ass crack. And the lame-ass anorak.

Bonnie's work was so boring I can't even bear to think about it, but I will say that I last saw that cowl neck that ate Manhattan on Pam Dawber when she was on Mork & Mindy.



Jeffrey made some very nice pants, with buttons at the (tight) ankles. He and Alison also made the most disturbing top I've ever seen.



Would someone please tell me what the fuck that is? Are those leg holes? Wouldn't that make the top a crotchless body suit? Arm holes, for making the top a crop top by folding it up in half and sticking your arms through both sets of holes? Nasty. Just nasty.

Given the choices, I can see why Angela's design won, but that's kind of like saying that for a fat girl, you don't sweat much.

Next week is yet another American Style Icon Getting A Makeover. And it looked like the models got to fight it out for something. Which ASIGAM they were going to be? Which designer they want to dress them next?

I hate to say this, but I sort of don't care. Is the bloom off the rose for me and Project Runway? I hope not.