You’ve Got a Lot of Nerve, to Say You Are My Friend

My grandmother, OBM, was a lot of things, and a lot of them not too nice. But there was one thing she was, wholeheartedly and without reservation, and that was an ardent Zionist. There wasn’t a news story, a scandal or a non-fiction book published, that she didn’t ask the question: “But is it good for the Jews?” She was an old-fashioned woman, the kind who would spit (or at least pretend to) when certain people’s names were mentioned (oh, you know, like Adolf Hitler, or my first husband). Reading this story today, my grandmother would have become apoplectic.

I mean, OK, you want more power, so you turn your coat and become an “Independent” and no longer a Democrat, although you caucus with the Dems. OK, whatever, you nasty little chickenhawk, you want to support the meaningless war in the Middle East because you think it would be good for the Jews, although G-d only knows how. But to go out and campaign for John McCain? AND speak against Barack Obama? Oh, get over yourself, you terrible little man. Just declare yourself a Republican already. Oh, that’s right. You won your election as a Democrat, so changing parties after the fact is a little disingenuous. Still, it didn’t stop you from going to the indefinable middle, did it? Nor is it stopping you from giving a speech at the Republican convention, or even keeping you from being considered on the short list for John McCain’s running mate.

And you know what? Although my grandmother would be very unhappy with this, I say, go for it. Because in the long run, you on the ticket with McCain would be very,very good for the Jews. In that all those in-bred, racist fucks who don’t want to vote for someone who’s half-black will just have to kill themselves before they’d ever let a Kike be a heartbeat away from the presidency. Yep. You just get on that ticket and run, run, run, you little khazer. You sit out campaigning on the sabbath and push your Jewishness in all those white bread faces who are scared of anything different. Nothing you do could do more to help the Democratic candidate. And a Democrat in the White House, especially this Democrat, would really be good for the Jews.