Aqualung

You people know all the disgusting lyrics that would be applicable. Go sing the damn song yourself.



My boss sent me home early (ha! 4 instead of 5:30) yesterday because the sound of my coughing and sneezing was too disgusting for him. Today I never made it out of bed. It is my annual bout with bronchitis/sinuses/lung disease. I have no idea where I caught it. I have been meticulous about hand washing and avoiding persons with this plague, and as always, took my flu shot. But does it help? No.



Bite me.



On the other hand, I found this.

I jettisoned the premium cable when the Sopranos and Deadwood went off the air and my Netflix account went live. I haven’t missed being on top of pop culture that much, and TV shows hit dvd almost as soon as their seasons end.  Last night, the RLA and I settled down to see what all the fuss was about re: Mad Men. We’re both graphic designers, or were in our past lives, we both lived through the 50s and 60s and so this seemed like a perfect fit for us to watch. After the first episode, the RLA declared the series “depressing and sad”. I stuck it out through the first three episodes, which were all that were on the DVD. I have disc two waiting for me tonight. Annnnnnd, for the record, if John Hamm IS the hottest looking man on television today, then it is a sorry day for TV. He tricks out perfectly as a Hathaway shirt model, but I’m not feeling the sizzle. At all. The women are much more interesting, and I covet pretty much every article of clothing worn by Joan or Betty? Bitsy? whatever Mrs. Don Draper’s name is.



It’s unfortunate that so little of advertising is seen, because I remember the VW ads. In an anti-Semitic throw-away line, there is reference to the shop that those ads came from: Doyle Dane Bernbach. There is a lot of that sort of stuff in Mad Men, anti-Semitic, or blatantly racist attitudes that are oh so carefully crafted to give the image that that’s how everyone was in those days. In the first episode, Don Draper is talking to a Black bus boy (actually an older man) trying to wrap his mind around advertising cigarettes without making a health claim, and the restaurant manager comes over to make sure that Don isn’t being bothered by the chatty and uppity fellow. It was a segregated world, but was it that overt in New York City? It wasn’t that overt in my little home town in the deep south, so it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around this aspect of the show as being truthful to the period.



The women are all bitches to each other. The men universally treat the women like pieces of meat. Hell, the women treat the other women like pieces of meat, even and perhaps especially, the perky and powerful Joan, who tells the dowdy new girl Peggy that the way to make her way in the business world is to go home after her first day on the job, get completely nude, put a brown paper bag over her head with eye holes cut out and stand in front of a mirror and truly and honestly evaluate her assets and flaws. There is much made about her ankles. Joan shows Peggy an IBM Selectric typewriter and tells her not to be overwhelmed by the technology, that the men who built it made it simple enough for a woman to use.



Again, all I have to compare with are the women from my own late 50s and 60s childhood. Honey, let me tell you, that there wasn’t a woman in my mother’s circle who would have said shit like that. These were women who were running their own businesses and breaking horses and organizing flower shows. Mrs. NameEscapesMeAtTheMoment had lived in Occupied Japan with her husband. She could play the samisen and wear a kimono, and do ikebana. And she would do that in her home for the entertainment of the other garden club ladies. And she taught the other ladies (and their daughters, those of us who were the Junior Garden Club) how to do ikebana, too. In a town of less than five thousand people. Is it somehow possible that we more cosmopolitan than New Yorkers?



There are so many things in Mad Men that I find hard to watch: the gay-passing-for-straight man, the endless women sobbing inconsolably in various ladies rooms while other women walk past without batting an eyelash, the sexual double standard. Other things are funny, in a “oh my god, did we really do that” sort of way: the pregnant woman who is smoking, drinking and admitting her craving for raw hamburger, the child playing space-man in a dry-cleaning bag, the raw eggs in the Caesar salads, and the fear and loathing when a divorced woman moves in to the neighborhood.



Possibly the hardest thing for me to watch is the casual infidelity of the lead character and his mistress, who may or may not be another advertising hack. She does paint puppies for Hallmark. Her stereotyping as a Village Beat-nik is also a little hard to take. For all that the clothing is perfect to the period, and a lot of the other set details are too, my general impression is that all of this was written and designed, not by people who were there, but by people who studied movies and cinescopes for what the period was like.



I think that if you want a Peyton Place meets Wisteria Lane, then Mad Men is for you. If you want to know what the advertising world was like, then read the much more enjoyable “From those Wonderful Folks Who Brought You Pearl Harbor”, Jerry Della Famina’s autobiography.

I’ve never much cared for going out on New Year’s Eve… amateur night and all that. I prefer to stay inside, drink to my heart’s content without an exorbitant bar tab, eat great food that I’ve prepared myself and so to bed with the RLA. This year was no different. We brought in the animals to keep them safe from the midnight gunshots (another of nature’s laws, commonly ignored by the Miami populace: what goes up, must come down) and random erratic fireworks. We had a cozy dinner and then watched “Zombie Strippers”, which was, against all expectations, really funny. And good. And funny. Clearly the writer enjoyed his college existential philosophy class. Just as clearly, he must despise the Bush/Cheney/et.al cabal as much as I do, because half the laughs come at the expense of said cabal.



After that, we switched and watched the Cher Believe dvd. And then we watched the ball drop, and were utterly horrified at the millionty-two blue Nivea hats. OK, you are a corporate sponsor. But do you have to turn the event into some kind of hybrid of “Idiocracy” and “Snow Crash”? Enough with the corporate labeling. Please. And also? Dick Clark? Sweet that you still want to do New Year’s Eve and the whole party thing. But, dude. How many strokes have you had? A little dignity, please. Take him off screen. Let him wave to the adoring masses, but please, for all that is holy and right, do NOT let Dick on teevee again next year. It was sad. Really, truly, deeply, disturbingly sad.



Yesterday I spent lolling around getting myself ready to make this the sewing year: I put away my miniatures and cleared off the dining room table, to make it available as a cutting table. I prepped some lamb shanks for the crockpot today. I went outside and lay on the grass and stared at the clouds and let the dogs romp all around. I noticed that all of my mango trees are in bloom, which is awfully early, and I hope that the baby mangoes will be old enough and strong enough to withstand the winds and rain in March, so that I have a decent crop this year. I pre-drafted another roving, and hope to get some spinning done this weekend.



Today we are back in the office, with virtually no work, and literally no drive. Time to work on my shopping cart.



Like a Circle in a Spiral

As our little blue/green marble takes its final staggering steps of its orbit around the minor star on the edge of the spiral arm of our minor galaxy in the infinite expanse of space, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on what a sucking chest wound 2008 was. It wasn’t quite as bad for me, personally, as 2004, but it pretty much sucked. The never-ending presidential campaign got dirtier and nastier, ending with the election of the smartest guy in the room, a result made possible only by the utter loathing for the current administration by 99% of the planet. In this respect, Bush/Cheney is like my ex-husband, the Anti-Christ. If they weren’t so corrupt, so evil, so mind-bogglingly sociopathic on a monumental scale, the American public might not have recognized that our last, best hope was a man with a foreign-sounding name and a skin color not traditionally associated with the presidency. But the utter terror of the prospect of another four years of Bush/Cheney lite was enough to send voters to the polls in record numbers, all with just one thought: CHANGE. And for that, MizShoes is grateful. For everything else those two have perpetrated in my (and your) name, I wish only for a special prosecutor to try them for war crimes. It’s too late for the high crimes and misdemeanors and impeachment that should have come.



The economy crashed and burned this year. We’ve tightened our belts so much at the Casita des Zappatos that the next round of economizing is going to include a WWII-style victory garden and a clothes line. I’m even unplugging the computer to save on electricity.



But I went to Arrowmont, and had a blast learning about felting. I got my beads and baubles in a shop, even if nothing sold for Christmas, it costs nothing to leave everything in the case and hope for Valentine’s Day sales. The RLA got a second, and then a third, teaching gig. I haven’t been able to sell the old VW, Zelda Bleu, but I was able to get the Smart Car, and it also costs nothing to hold on to the VW and wait for better days.



There will be better days, I’m sure of it. The future starts tomorrow, and I can’t wait to see what happens.

Try to Remember

I try not to make New Year’s Resolutions, because I love making lists and checking off the things I’ve accomplished, and New Year’s Resolutions tend to be lists wherein nothing ever gets checked off. But this year, I’m going to try. Mostly, this has been inspired by the wii & wiifit that the RLA and I bought each other for Chanukah. I got on it yesterday and it kicked my ass. I actually dripped sweat, something that I rarely did all those sessions on the treadmill at the gym and/or with Nicolas Cage, my trainer who decamped with my money. Those little wii miis were banging their fists on the ground in frustration a couple of times, and the RLA kicked my ass when it came to running, but I beat him senseless in the hula-hoop exercise, and all those years of aerobics and step classes paid off with me being able to follow the little pink foot prints during the basic step. Awesome.



So, inspired by the wii, this will be my year to lose some weight. How much is a mystery, because I would rather have my face eaten by weasels than tell anyone how much I weigh. I won’t even let the nurse at my doctor’s office weigh me. I tell them that I am overweight and they will just have to guess.



The second resolution is to make 2009 the year that Mild Burning Symptoms finally goes live. MBS is my virtual garage sale. It’s still in development, but feel free to take a look and leave any comments you may have about it here.



The third and final resolution is to make 2009 the year that I get back to the sewing machine. I have been consumed with knitting for several years now, and my skill level has improved considerably, so it’s time to tune up the sewing skills. I have a good dress-maker’s mannequin, a wonderful machine and a separate serger, lots of fabric and lots of patterns. I intend to put them all to good use in 2009.



What’s on your list, or don’t you have one?



PS: I’ve added a list of our cast of eccentrics, over there on the right, where it used to be a lame “about me” page.

Santa



The Girlcousin sends me the best stuff.

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