Mar 15th, 2006

How Many Times?

How many times must we review the rules, people?

Here's a clue: If, even though I have my i-pod at full volume, I can hear every single word of your inane conversation, you are definitely talking too loud. Christ, woman, the nut case who was talking to himself on the other side of me got up and moved because you annoyed him!

Two bodies cannot occupy the same physical space simultaneously. This means, in real life, that you cannot shove your fat ass onto the train while someone is trying to exit through the same door. Let me put it in images you might relate to:
When Larry, Moe and Curly all try to get through the door at the same time, what happens? Right. Moe slaps the shit out of the other two until they move and he can get through the door. Do you want me to get all Moe on your ass, and slap you?

Teenage boys: Nobody, and I mean NOBODY wants to see your skanky underwear hanging out over the tops of your too-big, baggy shorts. (Which, by the way, make you look like you are wearing a skirt. Do you even realize that?) If you have to keep them on by holding your dick all day, well, what's the freaking point. You aren't going to listen to me. You don't listen to each other.

Another thing I'd like to say to teenage boys, particularly the gaggle of them on this morning's train: talking about "raping" your friend's 12-year-old sister is not amusing to me or any of the other adults in the train. I bet the twelve year old sister wouldn't be entertained by this, either. Nor would any of your mothers. Assuming you still have mothers who give a shit about you. Judging by the way you look and act in public, I'd have to guess no.

Next time, I'm going to pants you, and damn the consequences.