Sep 29th, 2012

Miz Shoes Reviews: Project Runway Season 10, Episode 11

Previously on Project Runway, Christopher continued to be golden and Ven BooHoo went byebye. Now there are six designers, three of each sex, and Natasha sits on her bed and stares out at nothing in true Ukrainian life is one long moment of impending doom manner.

This week’s challenge will be to design a look for Heidi’s newest endeavor, a line of clothing for Designer Baby Warehouse or some such. Out come adorable babies and scary opinionated mommies and The Button Bag of Doom (TM) to match designers with babies. There are three babies of each sex, too, because tonight there will be two winners: one for a boy’s look, and one for a girl’s. Way to start programming gender roles early in life, there, Heidi et the entire design/baby marketing industry. No budget, no Mood, because all the notions and fabrics will be provided by Heidi. Predictable whining of I ain’t never sewed for no baby before combined with false hope that it will be fun because everybody loves a baby…except the people who don’t. Sketching, insane ideas of dressing babies like little adults because it’s cute, ideas of using white for toddlers, ideas of who knows what all.

In the workroom the designers are greeted by piles of materials and little artificial babies, the horrible kind that they give teenagers to keep them from ever getting pregnant: the kind that you have to feed and change and jiggle because they start to cry and scream randomly. This is to give the designers empathy for mothers and help them get a real understanding of what it might be like to try and dress one. Well, that’s the excuse. The reality is because now that Miss Gunnar is gone, and Natasha’s meds are working, there is no drama in the workroom, and nothing like stressing out the stressed out hamsters to entertain the teevee masses. Or not, because Miz Shoes was not amused by this. There is misery in the work room, and misery at the Atlas as they have to take the miserable automaton babies home for the night. The designers all crack, and the next day Heidi comes in to laugh at them and their stress levels and to advise as the client. This causes chaos where expected: to wit, Melissa obsesses over details, throws her original design away and falls behind miserably. But wait, there’s more! Now they also have to do a related ensemble for the mothers. Back to sketching, off to Mood, hello Swatch, Thank You Mood, and back to the workroom, where Tim Gunn takes the miserable little robo-babies away in a little red wagon. The things the producers do to that man’s dignity. The mothers now come in and Mini MiCo’s momma hates everything, but it’s pretty weak tea as teevee drama goes.

Runway and guest judge is some blonde actress who has had a kid. The babies and mommies walk the catwalk and Miz Shoes says that Mini MiCo and his daisy dress, and Sanjay and her little grey jersey leisure suit for boys are the winners, and it’s Natasha or Melissa and her white poplin baby sheath dress (words that should never be in the same sentence) on the bottom. This is exactly as it shakes out in the judging, and in the end, it’s Natasha’s baby sample sale that seals her doom. Next week? Make a pretty dress, and Mini MiCo says that with 4 wins, he’s sure he’s in the final four. Dude. This may be true, but have you never heard of hubris? For saying that out loud, Miz Shoes predicts that we will see you suffer.