Today’s late recap is brought to you by the letter I, as in Tropical Storm Isaac. This week we had the client/non-industry person challenge. As usual, one designer fell apart over the concept of having to dress a “real” woman, not a clothes hanger

model. As is not usual, this caused Heidi and the rest of the judges to say “what the fuck are you on about? Who do you think buys and wears clothing?”

Miss Gunnar Raging DramaQueen and Natasha the psycho bitch both got a little redemption arc this week, as their shrieking was toned down and they both were, well, I was going to say “charming”, but will have to go with merely “nice” to their clients.  Miss Gunnar used Mini Mico’s technique of applying bits of chiffon onto other fabric to create new fabric. It was an uninspiring mini-shift with a sorta-kinda bibby thing, but his client loved it and worked that catwalk like the rent was due and the man was banging on the front door with the eviction notice in his other hand. Miss Gunnar got lucky with her. Mini MiCo was largely invisible, as were Crunchy Granola and April Junior.

Ven Diagram, on the other hand, was a big presence on the show: abusive, insensitive and incapable of dressing his client, who was large. Ven had to point her enormousness out to her, to the room, to the confessionals, to the other designers, to her friend, and to the judges. He was horrified that she might have been all of a size 14. MizShoes was a size 14 herself, not so many years ago, and thinks that maybe his client was more of a size 18, but either way, it wasn’t necessary for him to have palpitations over this. (Edited to add, according to Terri herself, she was a whopping size 10 at the time of the shoot.)

Further, MizShoes would like to point out that Ven Diagram seems not to notice that his own profile is portly. Large. Fatty fatty two by four, can’t get through the kitchen door. And yet, there he was, going on in his moon-faced monotone, getting completely unhinged by the thought of having to dress a big girl. Dude. I’m just sayin, somebody somewhere had to cut pants with a 42 inch waist for you, but they didn’t throw themselves on the ground and bang their fists and feet in a snit over it.

Boris made another sheath dress with barely enough interest to lift it beyond being just another sheath dress, and he was once more a bridesmaid, and not the winner.

FlavioFlav got the loser edit (i.e.: was shown Skyping with his lover and their pet cat) but actually won, and deservedly so, by listening to his client. She was a film student who said she dressed to be invisible, and who would wear a dress, but only if it didn’t sexualize her. He had her get an asymmetrical hair cut, and created a dress in multiple shades of grey that was a classic New Look silhouette. Feminine, but not sexualized, she loved it: it was youthful, clean and a thoroughly re-imagined look specifically for her.

Nathan, the invisible dude who never had a minute of air time before Heidi pulled his name out of the button bag last week had as a client an “R&B Wannabe” who was channeling Snooki as her style icon. He did his best to give her a less hootchie-momma look than she wanted, but to no avail. It was too short and too shiny and looked so cheap that even Heidi found it ugly. Nathan we hardly knew ye.

Then the judges all beat up Fatty Ven Diagram for being mean and tasteless and making his client cry. If Little Harajuku Girl hadn’t left early, leaving the producers one piece of cannon fodder short, he would have been sent home, methinks. Next week? Maybe we can write a real recap, if the storm clouds stay away and the power stays on.