Open on the girls, because there are no boys. Korto is sad for Jerell, but oh, well, at least she’s showing and that’s what matters the most to her. We quickly flit to the Blowfly work room. Tim’s proud of everyone. They have to edit their collections down to only 10 looks. But not now. Now we’re going to cast models.
A rapid recap of model casting: Korto needs big hair. Leanne is particularly fond of some random little girl who looks like an alien. Kenley is advising Leanne as to who she should cast. Leanne wants Kenley to mind her own beeswax.
Back to the Blowfly room for Tim’s walkabout and the editing of the collections. He begins with our Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong, and asks again about the ropes. Kenley isn’t using a quarter-inch cord, people, she’s using an inch thick black hawser. Every where. Wrapped around necks, binding on necklines, accents between materials. It is pretty horsey. Kenley tells Tim that she’s going to put Topogigio in the feather wedding dress as her final look. Tim reminds her that the judges already saw it. She replies that they saw it and LOVED it. Tim asks if that’s really what she got from their critiques, and she lunges for his throat. “Yah, what? You think that they called me a knock-off? They’ve done that ,like, four times and it’s in-SULT-ing. I’m sick of it.” Then she interviews that it’s just too damn bad that that know-nothing Tim Gunn didn’t like her ropes, because she does and she’s keeping them and that’s that. Period. As Tim walks away from her, the façade falls for the briefest of moments and we see him arch an eyebrow and roll his eyes. It’s reality show gold. No, it’s reality show platinum.
Korto tells Tim that because Heidi said she wouldn’t be caught dead in either the wedding dress or the bridesmaid’s dress, she’s going to toss both of them and make two new dresses in the next two days.
Leanne still has work.
Collier Strong and the hair/make up consultations. Korto wants nature. Kenley wants a cherry red lip and her models to look like porcelain dolls. Leanne wants clean and modern.
Model fitting. Kenley disses Leanne’s color sense. Yeah, I know. Leanne disses Kenley’s hand-painted fabric, and calls it Holly Hobby and like someone’s kid painted it. It’s amateurish. Leanne has a point.
One day to show and the models get their test hair and make up. Kenley talks trash about Korto. Tuh-Tuh-Tuh-Tia comes in for her fitting with her pocket puppy and the little thing takes a poop right near Leanne’s work station. Tia cleans it up while still wearing her gown. Leanne has a nervous breakdown, and nothing happens to the dress. Kenley gets ugly about the little tiny dog and demands that it not go near her or her work. Honey, doggies have a sense about people. I don’t think it would willingly go within thirty feet of you.
Day of Show (finally)
We see the tents at dawn. Kenley takes a stroll down the runway and cries about how proud her parents are going to be and how her tugboat driving daddy will think this whole thing is “rad as hell”. Hmmph. Kenely is then seen being rude to her staff of assistants. Imagine that. Kenley then trumpets on about how beautiful her work is, and how amazing her models are and how she is fer sure gonna win.
And we’re off. Heidi comes out to announce the fabulous guest judge, and it’s J.Lo… who has called in sick (or indifferent) at the last minute, so the guest judge will be…Tim Gunn. We get another moment of reality show gold as the cameras cut to backstage where Kenley has a moment of realization that she’s spent the past twelve weeks being an utterly disrespectful twat, and that maybe she should have had a better attitude. Brilliant.
Kenley’s show is first, and she is using some weird industrial drone for music that makes it impossible for her models to walk with any rhythm or beat. The ropes are horsey and the colors clash. Also, although I haven’t seen anyone else say this, that first look with the too-short in front, oddly long in back skirt with the tent-striped underside reminds me of Jeffrey-the-Pinheaded-Shmoo’s work. Most of her work is not to my taste, but I do love the pale shirt-waist dress with the mandarin collar, full skirt and single line of badly painted flowers. We see Kenley’s family and it appears that she has a twin sister and her mother looks like Amy Sedaris when she’s in her Candy From Strangers make up. Woof.
Korto comes out, cries a little and asks “Don’t I look hott?” And she does. Her show is beautifully styled, with the models wearing fake Japanese-inspired buns and holding little fans. The colors are vivid, and the integration of her large-scale beadwork into the dresses is innovative and exciting. Bianca (the stank ho from some season or another of ANTM) is looking fine and works the hell out of the microscopic green dress she’s presenting. Dani (Winner of some season or another of ANTM) is looking even better and is wearing an amazing evening dress, whose strap is the beadwork.
Leanne’s collection is last, and it is the most cohesive of them all. She is working with a tight palate of colors: ivory, tea, aqua. The line is a complete collection of separates that don’t necessarily look like separates, but she has skirts, shorts, pants, tops, evening wear and cocktail dresses. Her inspiration (waves) is obvious as the flaps and noodles move on the runway. It really is amazing work. The wedding dress is maybe the most beautiful thing to come out of PR since Laura’s grey evening gown with the chartreuse beading. She has chosen a watery-sounding techno for her music.
After the Show
We see Fern Malis complimenting Kenley. Oh, NOES! Korto is voted fan favorite and gets the big check. Oh, GOOD.
At Parsons the judges fill a little airtime with empty chatter about this being the year of the women and how every one of them had their own point of view and blahblahblah.
Michael Kors tells Kenley that he liked her collection. He calls it charming, not a word usually associated with Kenley. Tim says that her workmanship was good. NinaGarcia says that the flowered dress looks like Balenciaga. Kenley says that she heard that a lot today, but that she wouldn’t know because she NEVER looks at anyone elses work.
Korto is complimented for letting her heritage show without resorting to clichés. NinaGarcia says that she made it look effortless and cohesive. They rave about the long green gown. Tim tells her that her short (and one of her last minute additions) taupe dress looked “sublime” on the runway.
Leanne’s workmanship earns a “divine” from Michael. NinaGarcia raves over the fact that Leanne put everything into the show: shorts, gowns, etc. Then we get the criticism of the look. Michael says that he’s afraid that she’s going to be known as Petals Marshall (great porn name,BTW). NinaGarcia frets over what a show of 40 pieces would look like.
The designers each say why they should win. The only notable reason is that Leanne’s collection was at least 50% sustainable (green) fabrics. We get one more round of judges chatter: Tim says that Kenley needs to take a fashion history class. Korto makes complicated look deceptively easy. Is Leanne a one-note designer? Korto understands women of all sizes and shapes and can dress/design for them all. The fan poll comes in for Leanne for the win, a landslide at 50%.
Heidi announces that they have decided. Kenley, you have a great future, but not here. You’re out. Kenley leaves with a display of the same class she showed throughout: It’s bullshit. I should have won. I’m not a copycat, I’m a true artist.
Leanne wins, and Korto cries. Chin up, Korto. You won fan favorite, and you have probably already gotten at least half a dozen offers from high-end designers.
And another season comes to an end. Will there be another? Will it be on Bravo? Stay tuned.