Apr 14th, 2005

Tiffany From the Hood

Last night my girl Tiffany got sent home from ANTM. This was a terrible blow to me because the week before, my other favorite, Lluvy, got sent home. Why don't they send home the chick with the Village of the Damned eyes, or the one with no lips?
This has to be the worst season yet for America's Next Top Model. Not one of those twits could read a teleprompter, and not one of them could pronounce Hermes.

Now, I'm just sayin', but if you were trying to be a top model, wouldn't you be studying things like Vogue magazine, or Harper's Bazaar? Wouldn't you? Maybe watch Style tv. Things like that.

Was it one or two weeks ago where none of the girls had a clue what haute couture was? If I were Tyra, Mr. Jay and the wonderfully over the top Miss Janice Dickenson, I would have cancelled the season at that moment and sent the whole ratty pack of them home.

And speaking of ratty, what's up with the whole look of the pack when they come in for judging? Can't one of them use a hairbrush or a little mascara? Especially that drunk girl, Brittany. She looks like she's just rolled in from a hard night and an early morning walk of shame, every single week.

Even Michael/Michelle is doing better than that. Sort of. I think that the show, having treated her to its nasty bleach blonde makeover, should at least keep her roots up for her. Or just give up on her being an ice queen and go for a jet black, Betty Page look for her. I think that would have been a little easier for her to work with.

Working with brings up the whole acting class sequence. Michael/Michelle kept saying that she'd had four years of drama. I'm beginning to think that was personal drama and not actually acting classes.

And finally, Noxema, the Cover Girl of the Week in perpetuity. She really rubs me the wrong way. I can't tell you why, whether it's the Meg Tilly brown facial lumps, or the lame ass mohawk, or the smug little way she wins every competition, but I just don't like her and I don't want her to win.

So there. If you want a better analysis, go to Television Without Pity.