I had lunch with the RLA today. He met me after his class and we went to a nice little bistro in the courtyard of the tower across the way. We were unable to have any sort of conversation over our burgers, however, because behind me was a woman having lunch with her friend, and her conversation was conducted at such a pitch and such a volume that all else was drowned out.

I'm sure that her friend felt exactly the way I did, because there were little bits of twisted napkin shreds on her side of the table when they finally left.

The non-stop talking woman was on about her boyfriend Frank, Frank's ex-wife, Frank's kids and how they sleep in the same bed as him, even when he's at her house on the nights that he has custody of the two kids, how the kids are brats and it's all the fault of the ex-wife, how the ex-wife has a skanky boyfriend who smokes a) in front of the kids and b) in her -- the ex-wife's-- house. I heard all about it. I heard all about how unattractive the ex is, how much the speaker spent on her Christmas tree decorations, because it's her first Christmas (ever? alone? in her own space? she didn't elaborate) and she needed all the ornaments she bought. I heard about how the ex works at her parent's beauty shop. Or maybe it was body shop.

I heard way, way, way too much. And did I mention that she NEVER SHUT UP. Not for a sip of water, not for a breath, not to shovel food in her mouth, not to let her friend even murmmur uh-huh, or really? or oh, that's too bad.

In conclusion, I would just like to say, with all my heart and all my soul, and I feel certain that I speak for everyone within a twenty foot radius of you today at lunch:

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Thank you. I'm done now.