Apr 27th, 2006

Today’s Trifecta

Yesterday was one of those stupid Hallmark holidays, specifically it was Administrative Assistants' Day, or Secretary's Day before everybody and the dog catcher had to have more "professional" titles.

This was the first one I ever spent as an Executive Assistant, having been a real professional for the first 30 of my working years. I always remembered the secretaries, because the truth of global industry is that they run the world.

Yesterday, the only person to remember me was the office supplies vendor, who brought me a new gel pen (with a double-wide tip and indelible ink to prevent identity fraud) and a sample of new, improved sticky notes.

Everyone else just piled on work and climbed on my ass like it was the cross-town jitney.

I bought myself flowers on the way home so that I wouldn't be the only secretary on the train without a gift in my hand. How pathetic is that?

IN DREAMS

I have a great dream life. I was shocked to discover that other people don't always or necessarily dream in color. My dreams are always technicolor, tactile, wide-screen, dolby surround sound, special effects laden e-ticket rides. And they alway have been.

I can't tell you the number of psychologists I've amused with tales of my REM. I've had dreams where, at the end, I watch the credits roll up. I've had dreams that continued across a number of evenings, picking up like a TV mini-series from night to night. I fly.

I've taught myself lucid dreaming, and even then, continue to play with my own head because I can never quite tell if I'm asleep or awake or somewhere in between.

But last night, oh, last night I two-timed my long-standing dream boyfriend, Bob Dylan, and had a torrid affair with Anthony Bourdain. HOT! HOT! HOT! So hot, that I woke up and considered molesting the RLA at 3:10 am.

Yeah, TMI, huh?

The Meme

This came from Delamuerta last month, and I ignored it until I was sufficiently bored. The results are either hysterical or perplexing.

Instructions: Set your iTunes to shuffle. Ask the following question aloud one at a time, pressing play once after each question. Use the song titles as the answers to the questions. No cheating.

Q) How does the world see you?
A) Rave On - Buddy Holly (Really? I'd never guess.)

Q)Will I have a happy life?
A) Why's Love Got To Be So Sad? - Derek & the Dominos (A question I never tire of asking.)

Q) What do my friends really think of me?
A) Moon Shadow - Cat Stevens (I don't get it.)

Q) Do people secretly lust after me?
A) Give It Up Or Let Me Go - Bonnie Raitt (Hmmph.)

Q) How can I make myself happy?
A) Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen (Always cheers me up.)

Q) What should I do with my life?
A) I Never Loved A Man (The Way That I Love You) - Aretha Franklin (Huh?)

Q) Will I ever have children?
A) Sheena Is A Punk Rocker - The Ramones (schnort)

Q) What is some good advice for me?
A) I've Loved These Days - Billy Joel (O.K. Sure. Can I still hate the living, though?)

Q) How will I be remembered?
A) Baby Mine - Bette Midler (The lullaby from Dumbo? Huh?)

Q) What is my signature song?
A) We're All Bozos On This Bus - Firesign Theater (bwahahahahahahahahaha)

Q) What do I think my current theme song is?
A) Beautiful World - Devo (It's a beautiful world we live in...)

Q) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
A) Visions of Johanna - Bob Dylan (Jewels and binoculars hang from the head of the mule?)

Q) What song will play at my funeral?
A) Dixie Chicken - Little Feat (That's cool.)

Q) What type of men do I like?
A) Not Dark Yet - Bob Dylan (It's not dark yet, but it's getting there... old geezers?)

Q) What is my day going to be like?
A) City of Gold - Dixie Hummingbirds (Uh, no.)