I received an unsolicited e-mail the other day, and because it eventually gave me such pleasure, I give it now to you, in it's entirety.

From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Date: Sat, 16 Oct 2004 20:29:39 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: More False Documents

RatherGate proved that bloggers are the best fact checkers. That is
why we are writing to a few bloggers asking for help.

Yes Bush Can has collected several documents that are clearly suspect.

But we need your help to prove they are fake:
http://www.yesbushcan.com/falsedocs.shtml

Let's spring to action before these documents needlessly tarnish the
reputation of our Commander and Chief. You know the drill: analyze the handwriting, search for factual errors, and post your discoveries.

And keep us posted by sending email to .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

Thanks in advance for your help.

YesBushCan
Oh, gentle readers, you just know where this is going, don't you?

Here is my reply, in its entirety.

No Bush Can't. Lying sack of shit. Please remove me from your
mailing list, as I am a Yellow Dog Democrat, and an Anybody But
Bush supporter. Lying sack of cowardly, stupid, bigoted, bought
and paid for by the devil, shit. I will never vote for George W.
Bush, nor for Jeb Bush, nor for any other member of that
corrupt, stinking family.

For what ever reason, they have not chosen to reply. But then, to my complete satisfaction, they haven't asked for my help again, either.

Yeah, so you know how I feel about politics. Time to rant about something else for a while, I think.

Today I'd like to talk about this article. An artist was commissioned to create a mural for a library in California. The concept was enlightenment. The artist is a former school teacher here in Florida. The finished mural contains 11 misspelled names, including Shakespeare, Van Gogh and Einstein.

The artist is furious with the public for focusing on the mistakes, and not the big picture, which, she says, is that if you follow the words into the library, you can learn something.

Huh? A mural advertising enlightenment and education has eleven mistakes (a mural, I need to remind you, that was produced by a former school teacher) and the public (who paid for that artwork) is supposed to just say: OK. Kewl.?

I just want to bitch slap that woman into next week. And I can't even tell you what makes me crazier: that she can't spell, that she didn't even think to look up the names if she wasn't sure of the spelling, that she thinks her mistakes are negligable, that she is so arrogant in her ignorance, or that her whole attitude buys into the popular myth that artists are inferior intellectually.

Mistakes don't matter? I shouldn't have to correct them, because someone else should have seen them? (Well, she has a point there, someone should have seen them, but that doesn't relieve her of her own responsibility.) The point isn't about spelling, but about art?

Am I the last person in America with a sense of pride in my work?

Lying sack of shit. Lying sack of shit. Evasive, lying sack of shit. Smirking, evasive, stupid, lying sack of shit. And there are people in this country with the right to vote who are stupid enough to believe his lies, and not notice the shit.

But let me tell you how I really feel.
Lying, thieving, smirking, squinty-eyed, orange-colored, evasive, fundamentalist, cocksucking, did I mention lying?, cold-blooded,sociopathic lying sack of good for nothing shit.

A "culture of life"? when he'e sending our youth to Iraq and Afganistan to die? For oil? For his fucking friends and patrons' millions?

I hates him, my precious.

Read this. Read this out loud every time you hear someone say "Liberal" like it's a dirty word.

I just may have found the one person in America with a fouler mouth than me, and the bad sense guts to print their opinions. I keep saying this, and I hope I don't turn into a stalker, but the Rude Pundit is my political idol. I love him. I want him to come and visit me so we can go out and drink ourselves into a coma as we screech invective against the Bush cabal and the filthy running dogs who call themselves journalists.

Remember this entry? From back in June, when I told you the story about my Senior VP telling us that the hospital was losing a trillion dollars a day, but that there weren't going to be lay offs?

And I said it was like the old joke about the cat on the roof? And our jobs were on the roof?
Yeah. And then there was three months ago, when they said there would be layoffs, but not in our department. Then last month, there was the announcement that there would be layoffs in our department, but only managers.

Today, the Veep announced that we were beginning to research outsourcing the entire department in an effort to save all our jobs.

Yes, you read that right. They'll outsource the entire department to some firm that will then hire us to do our jobs, so we won't lose them at all!

Repeat after me: These are not the droids you seek.

Or, if you prefer that I keep the same metaphor I started with (and you know how much I love consistency) The cat has now fallen off the roof, and broken many bones. The cat has gone to the vet. The vet has done everything it her power to fix the cat, but...

Last night, as expected, the RLA, the Artist Down The Street* and I watched the second presidential debate. We decided to do shots whenever the President used the phrase "Wrong war at the wrong place at the wrong time" in an effort to defame Senator Kerry. Since this resulted in me being shit faced by 9:30, I had to write notes.

*I finally made up a name for my girlfriend down the street, whose name I wouldn't use out of respect for her privacy(Yeah. Right) She will now be known by her acronym:ADS. Not to be confused with the RLA, or Reknowned Local Artist, my husband.

Keep reading my notes:
What was with the wink Dubya just gave after answering Kerry on the Canadian Drug issue? What the hell was that about? Did he think that he'd just won the point? My God, Kerry just spanked the President's ass like Dubya was a naughty schoolgirl.

If we actually provide healthcare to everyone in America, that would be a bad thing? That it would lead to healthcare rationing? Shock and Awe, Fear and Terror... What a one-note.

Kerry's got the proverbial fire in the belly tonight.

"I'm a good steward for the environment." -- George Bush.
"That's just an Orwellian name for your bad environmental policies. We wouldn't sign the Kyoto Treaty. You are a part owner of a timber company." -- John Kerry

"I own a timer company? You wanna buy some wood?" -- George Bush, like he just took a slam dunk, and he swaggers back to his podium. He's kidding, right? He cannot think he won that exchange, either. He's either delusionion, or stupid. Or both. Or on drugs. Or all three.

Who would Dubya appoint to the Supreme Court in his second term? He says: I haven't thought of it, but ... if I need them all to vote for me? And then he smirks like that was funny. Dude, you stole the election, and some of us in this country took issue to it four years ago, and we're still pretty fucking pissed off at you, your family and your chicken hawk administration.

The ADS asks if this is as insane to us as it is to her. What: that President Bush actually invoked the Dred Scott decision in an effort to prop himself up in re: race relations? Or civil liberties, or something like that. Yeah. Pretty fucking insane.

And then he says that there is no litmus test except how they interpret the constitution. I'm drunk, but I still think that that would then, by definition, a litmus test.

Kerry jumps on women's right to choose as a constitutional right that his America will not go backwards on. He explains his understanding of the constitution as being precisely about how he can have one opinion and the questioner can have another and neither of them can use the government to legislate what the other person can believe. Gotta live with it, because it's right to live with it. It's the bottom line in the First Ammendment. If you can say what you think, so can the other guy. Period. End of sentence.

Bush says some shit about a "culture of life".

Waves hand. These are not the droids you seek.

Final Jeopardy question is: Name three times you've made mistakes in office.

Bush puffs himself, can't name anything and says: "I'm prepared to take responsibility for whatever mistakes history accords to me."? What kind of bullshit is that? History?

Kerry says that he may have voted to support the war, and committed money to it, but Bush screwed up how it was spent, and which is the worse crime... He keeps comparing himself to Republicans like Eisenhower and Reagan. Is that because they were less repugnant Repubs or is it the war leader thing with Eisenhower....

In short: smarmy and smug -- Bush, intelligent and poised -- Kerry.

Then we changed channels from C-SPAN to ABC and discovered that because he didn't drool or physically go after John Kerry, that the President was seen to have at least held his own. They're kidding, right?

And so to bed.